School: Academic or Behavior Problems?

Some students breeze through school. They find classes interesting, challenging and stimulating. They like to read independently and are often found scouring the shelves of libraries for new and exciting things to learn. They come home from school each day and sit down to do their homework without being asked. If they come across a word they don't understand, they find a dictionary and look up the word. If your child is one of these students, count your lucky stars because you are very lucky indeed! For a lot of parents, helping their children succeed in school can be a challenge. Many parents report that their child does one or more of the following:

• Has difficulty getting homework done without being asked several times
• Loses assignments between home and school
• Postpones schoolwork until the last minute
• Prefers to skip rather than attend classes
• Has behavior and social problems in school

Many of the problems that kids experience at school are related to their behavior rather than their academic abilities. For example, many children who do poorly in a course often don't do homework, prepare for tests or attend class regularly. They may be disruptive or inattentive in class, thereby missing much of the information that the other students are learning. More often than not, the most academically successful students are also the ones who behave well in class. Students who have positive social skills have a better chance of doing well academically.

There are several things parents can do at home to improve their children's school behavior and academic performance. Over the next few months, we will explore different strategies you can use to help your child be as successful as possible during the school year.

Source: Parenting.org

E-mail: youandchildren.gmail com.

Children & Television: the good, the bad and the useless

Television is a part of our young children's daily lives. TV is on in preschools, in waiting rooms, in doctors' offices - even automakers are making it easier to hit the highway with high definition. Now, more than ever, you need to monitor and supervise your child's TV viewing.

Is television for your child good, bad or just plain useless? The following questions are frequently asked by concerned parents and are probably questions that you have had on your mind, too. We hope you'll find the answers enlightening and practical for your home.

Are my children watching too much television?

A good test to determine if children watch too much television is to turn the TV off and keep it off for 24 hours. If your kids don't know what to do with their time, it is likely that they are too dependent on television. Ironically, some parents find this test harder than the kids. When adults rely on TV for entertainment, they train their kids by example to do the same.

If you fail the 24-hour test, don't feel bad. Try cutting back just a little on TV each day or week until you have cut back to almost nothing. One of the best things you can do is replace TV time with less sedentary activities (walking, biking, playing with the kids).

Are the programs my child loves so much good for him to watch?

There are lots of ways to find out if a TV program is a waste of time. You can review a program summary and viewer rating in your TV guide, surf the Web site of the show or channel for detailed information, or talk with teachers and other parents. The simplest way is for you to watch the show before your child does. This way you can make an informed decision. You may also want to consider watching more educational and learning programs during the week, age-appropriate entertainment shows on weekends, and designate time on Sunday to watch TV as a family. But even quality television in large quantities is a brain-waster. A couple of hours total viewing per week is plenty.

What should I look out for when trying to choose healthy and entertaining television programs for my young children?

Excessive violence, suggestive images, disrespect for adults or peers, vulgar language and poor role models with even worse social skills and values are indicators you can use for judging the value of a program. However, those concerns must be viewed in context. Certain programs, including biographies and documentaries, include subject matter that may not be suitable for children, yet they have educational, historical or social significance. These programs tell important stories that can help children understand the world they live in. A good rule of thumb is to avoid programs that target children but have themes, concepts and language that are adult in nature.

I am a TV junkie! What can I do to keep my children from becoming couch potatoes?

Be a role model. You must be willing to reduce the hours you spend in front of the TV. Breaking the habit is hard, but you can start by curbing your TV hours. Do this by using the newspaper or TV Guide to select just a few shows that you really want to watch. Don't spend the entire evening mindlessly channel surfing. Don't allow your children to watch programs that are inappropriate for their ages. And if you can't give up a program that is for mature viewers, tape it and watch it after your kids have gone to bed or are napping.

My child can only go to sleep with the television on.

What can I do?Your child learned this behavior. Any behavior that is learned can be unlearned. Patience is the key. You must replace your child's TV with something else: listening to music, reading a book, playing a game, etc. Schedule TV time, with the help of your child, during specific daytime hours and adhere to the schedule.

Help your child to set healthy boundaries

We have all been in a situation where someone is standing too close to us and we find ourselves wanting to take a step back. Our personal space, or boundary, has been invaded. Physical boundaries protect us and help us decide how and by whom we can be touched. Emotional boundaries protect our thoughts and emotions.

How can you help your child to set healthy boundaries?

You can guide your child through the process of deciding when to share personal thoughts and feelings. For example, private thoughts and feelings are best shared with close friends and family members. Casual friends should talk about non-personal topics such as sports, school and movies.

Before your child can develop healthy relationships, he or she needs to understand the importance of creating a personal "safe space." Appropriate boundaries protect your body, thoughts and feelings. When boundaries are too open, the result can be physically and emotionally dangerous. These are signs that your child's boundaries are too open:

• Shares personal information with acquaintances or strangers
• Wears tight or revealing clothing
• Stands too close to others
• Makes sexual comments about other people's body parts
• Has a tendency to believe everything people say

Perhaps your child has found out that a good friend told personal information about him or her to others. You can help your child understand that such a violation of trust is also a violation of boundaries. Tell your child that people who do not respect boundaries are not good choices for friends. Encourage your child to establish friendships slowly, sharing private thoughts and feelings gradually to ensure that trust is mutual and deserved.

source: parenting.org

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