What is your parenting style?

Your parenting style is likely to impact the way your child grows up. Being responsive to your children, and at the same time, setting clear rules and limits, is crucial for you as a parent. Based on this, four main styles of parenting have been identified:

• "Just do it or else" – Some parents adopt a highly authoritarian, dictatorial style. They expect children to obey orders without questioning. Rules are well defined in such households and breaking them usually invites punishment. Such a system is typical of societies where little change is expected and deviance from normal behavior can be costly such as a rural or agrarian society.

• "A no means a no" – Some parents are firm, assertive, and authoritative without being authoritarian. They set clear rules, and are firm about discipline without using harsh punishment. Children in such homes are expected to be socially responsible.

• "Do anything you want" – Parents with this style believe in the permissive or indulgent approach. They do not demand responsible behavior and avoid confrontation with their children. Several parents in the 50s and 60s adopted this style.

• "I don't care what you do" – Few parents remain uninvolved in their children's lives, which in few cases, borders on neglect.

Typically, most parents are variations or combinations of the above four styles.

There is no “right” or “wrong” parenting style though we all have prejudices on what we think works best based on our own experience and values. Research, however, has shown the effects of various parenting styles on children:

• Children that have grown up in authoritarian settings, tend to show average performance in school but lack spontaneity, effective social skills, and self-confidence.

• Children who are brought up by authoritative parents, grow up to become more responsible. They easily adjust to situations that demand cooperation.

• Children with permissive parents tend to be more creative but some research indicates they may develop behavioral problems as they grow up because they do not accept responsibility.

• Children with uninvolved parents perform poorly at school.

http://www.greatdad.com/tertiary/27/1744/choose-your-parenting-style.html

Avoid TV in children under 2 years?

Infants vocalize significantly less, and the adults who are with them also speak much less, while they are watching TV, a study published in the June issue of the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine has confirmed.

Researchers analyzed digital recordings of 2- to 48-month-old children and their parents that were made once a month on random days for up to 2 years. Each hour of audible television was associated with a significant drop in how much the children vocalized and engaged in conversational exchanges with the adults present.

The adults also spoke 770 fewer words during each hour that the TV was audible — a dramatic bite out of the average 940 word-per-hour rate adults usually speak.

"That 770-word reduction is almost a complete 1-to-1 displacement [of the amount adults talk]," said lead investigator Dimitri Christakis, MD, from the Center for Child Health, Behavior, and Development at the Seattle Children's Research Institute and the University of Washington School of Medicine.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that TV exposure should be avoided in children under the age of 2 years and that older children should view only 2 or fewer hours of TV per day. This is to ensure that children engage in as much interaction as possible with adults and thus have normal language development and brain growth.

A Major Problem

Benard Dreyer, MD, from Bellevue Hospital and the New York University School of Medicine, in New York City, was an author of a previous, retrospective study of low-income families that also showed TV exposure is associated with less parent-child vocal interaction (Mendelsohn AL et al. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2008;162:411-417). He said he "completely" agrees with the veracity of the new study's findings.

"I think that this [TV watching by young children] is a major problem, especially with respect to language development and all other types of early-childhood development that are predicated on interacting with adults, including cognitive development," Dr. Dreyer told Medscape Psychiatry. "Children who are interacting less with their parents and hearing less language are going to develop less language and also fewer other cognitive skills," he added.

Dr. Christakis and his colleagues obtained the data for the study from the LENA Foundation Natural Language Study. In the study, parents and their children aged 2 to 48 months were recruited and matched to the national-average levels of maternal education and child sex. The parents agreed to put a digital language-processing device in the front pocket of a specially designed vest that their child wore once a month for up to 24 months.

A total of 329 child-parent pairs contributed at least 1 recording with usable speech data to the study. The children's average age at the first session was 18 months, 51% were boys, and 79% were white; they were exposed to a mean of 1.3 hours of audible TV per day.

The investigators performed regression analyses that revealed that television exposure was linked with significantly reduced child vocalization count and duration as well as reduced conversation. These effects increased with every additional hour per day of television exposure.

Likewise, every additional hour of television exposure was associated with a 636-word decrease in the number of words the children heard from the female adults in their vicinity and a 134-word decrease in words heard from adult males, for a total reduction of 770 adult words.

Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2009;163: 554-558. Abstract

http://stanford.wellsphere.com/

Help Your Kids Learn the True Meaning of the Holidays

As children grow into their pre-adolescent years, they spend more time outside the home and with friends, and are exposed to a lot more media messages beyond the influence of parents. Tweens are bombarded with advertising, both blatant and subtle, especially during the busy shopping season.

Developmentally, tweens are beginning their search for an identity separate from parents and family, so they are especially vulnerable to manipulative advertising that plays on their insecurities. They are anxious to "grow up," and marketers exploit this desire by targeting younger and younger audiences for products that were once considered only appropriate for adults.

We can relate to that feeling. Adults also buy into the hype of consumerism - a feeing that is only heightened during the holiday season. Just like our tweens, we hop from one "miracle product" to the next in hopes of buying a new and improved identity, or an instant wealth of happiness.

Help your tween separate fact from marketing: A product endorsed by their favorite celebrity will not give them a better sense of who they are. Having strong holiday traditions - making memories your child will always cherish - those are the things that will resound in their lives.

Here are some good ways you can spend time with your son or daughter, to help your tween develop the warm feeling:

• Make special holiday memories with your kids. Do things that they will enjoy and remember, so that some day they might share those things with their own children.
• Do volunteer work. Any community center or organization can advise your teen on how and where to begin, and the holidays are a great time, not only to reach out, but to reflect.
• Have your kids provide a gift for you, a sibling or a friend that costs no money.

Help your tween concentrate on making improvements based on actions rather than consumerism; he or she will be happier and more productive, and will know real warmth this holiday season.

From Who's Raising Your Child? , by Laura J. Buddernberg and Kathleen M. McGee

The Biggest Modern parenting Mistakes:

The Biggest Modern parenting Mistakes:

• Failing to establish a strong emotional bond with your child by not spending the necessary time and attention.



• Not reading to, talking to or playing with young children to provide the experiences we know help them acquire literacy.



• Accepting the idea that excessive non-parental care will be an adequate substitute for your relationship with your child.



• Not having firm rules and routines that you administer calmly, fairly, assertively
  and without guilt or hesitation.



• Not conveying to your child – through both actions and words – the moral,
  ethical, and spiritual values you believe in (or not having moral, ethical and
  spiritual values in the first place).



• Allowing your child inappropriate control over his life. A certain amount of
  control, doled our as a child is ready to handle it, is wonderful; too much control
  when your child is ill prepared for it is disastrous.



• Yelling at and threatening your children. You can be firm and reliable in
  reinforcing rules without resorting to these tactics. When you lose your temper, it
  says that you have delayed handling an issue until your frustration and impotence
  have become overwhelming. You can act firmly right away; you don’t have to
  wait until you get angry.



• Over-identifying with your child, to the extent that you assume he wants what you
  want, will fulfill your own aspirations, or will perform in a way that will enhance
  your self-image. In short, expecting your child to build your ego and solve your
  doubts.



• Expecting too much while demanding too little. For instance, letting him loll
  around playing video games all day, then expecting him to win honors at school.



• Not allowing your child to experience the rewards of earning and achieving on his
  own.



• Not giving your child the type of activities and experiences that promote his
  ability to sit quietly, concentrate and listen, then expecting schools to “fix” him.
  Not even the very best private schools or stellar public education systems can
  accomplish the same goals with underdeveloped children as they do with those
  who are well-adjusted and ready to learn.



• Failing to talk things through. Direct, honest, complete communication should be
  the constant characteristic of your relationship wit your child.

When parents commit these all-too-common mistakes in an effort to suit their own needs
and concerns or through their own ignorance or lack of energy, they thwart their child’s
natural course of development. When you put off toilet training because you’re too busy
to deal with it, or allow your 6-year-old to keep crawling into your bed at night because
you’re too tired to put up a fight, or dole out money on demand instead of insisting on an
allowance, or let curfews slide, you will cripple your child in the long run. These
developmental tasks can feel endless at times, but it’s naïve to think that children will
turn out fine if you just leave them alone. Values are not instinctual; they are passed on to
your children day after day, in your every interaction with them. That is why, with effort,
even very deviant children can be helped to gain the values they need.
Except fromJoyless, Selfish, Childrenby Robert Shaw

4 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO TO PREPARE FOR H1N1

Prepare for Kids staying at home:

Since there's a strong chance that some schools could be forced to close for a time because of the flu, start getting your child-care plans ready in advance.

Practice Proper Hygiene:

It sounds positively 19th century, but one of the best ways to keep yourself safe from the flu-or any infectious disease- is to wash your hands thoroughly and regularly. Clean surfaces at home and at the office as well-flu viruses can survive on them for up to 48 hours.

Stay Home if you're Sick:

Workplaces and schools are nexuses of infection. One sick worker or student can come in and spread the flu to all his or her colleagues. If you or your child has flu like symptoms, stay home and stop the chain of infections.

Don't Panic:

Virologists like to say the only thing predictable about the flu is its unpredictability. At this point, we can't be sure how severe H1N1 will be in the fall. But overreaction will only make it worse.

Source: Time magazine

If you have any comments or would like to share your parenting experience, please email: youandchildren@gmail.com.

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Help Young Children recognize and avoid sexual abuse

Young children are more susceptible to sexual abuse as they may not be able distinguish right from wrong. We have to accept that even in countries like Singapore manipulators and child abusers do exist. It is one of the important duty of the parents to make sure that their children are well informed and are less likely to become victim of sexual abuse.

Young children need to be aware of the differences between good and bad touch. If you’re too uncomfortable discussing aspects of sexual abuse with your youngsters, there are videos and booklets on safe touch available from most public libraries and pediatricians.

The most important component to protecting your child from any form of abuse is frequent and open communication. Parents are now finding difficulties in communicating with their children due to various reasons like no time to spend with their children as they are busy with their work
or they don't try to come down to the level of their children's interests and topics of common interests between them etc.

Through regular communication with your children, you develop and maintain a trusting relationship and they become more comfortable sharing their problems with you. As a parent, you must also be vigilant. Stay in tune with your children’s feelings and be aware of any dramatic changes in their mood or behavior.

For any comments or to share your parenting experience, send email to: youandchildren@gmail.com.

School: Academic or Behavior Problems?

Some students breeze through school. They find classes interesting, challenging and stimulating. They like to read independently and are often found scouring the shelves of libraries for new and exciting things to learn. They come home from school each day and sit down to do their homework without being asked. If they come across a word they don't understand, they find a dictionary and look up the word. If your child is one of these students, count your lucky stars because you are very lucky indeed! For a lot of parents, helping their children succeed in school can be a challenge. Many parents report that their child does one or more of the following:

• Has difficulty getting homework done without being asked several times
• Loses assignments between home and school
• Postpones schoolwork until the last minute
• Prefers to skip rather than attend classes
• Has behavior and social problems in school

Many of the problems that kids experience at school are related to their behavior rather than their academic abilities. For example, many children who do poorly in a course often don't do homework, prepare for tests or attend class regularly. They may be disruptive or inattentive in class, thereby missing much of the information that the other students are learning. More often than not, the most academically successful students are also the ones who behave well in class. Students who have positive social skills have a better chance of doing well academically.

There are several things parents can do at home to improve their children's school behavior and academic performance. Over the next few months, we will explore different strategies you can use to help your child be as successful as possible during the school year.

Source: Parenting.org

E-mail: youandchildren.gmail com.

Children & Television: the good, the bad and the useless

Television is a part of our young children's daily lives. TV is on in preschools, in waiting rooms, in doctors' offices - even automakers are making it easier to hit the highway with high definition. Now, more than ever, you need to monitor and supervise your child's TV viewing.

Is television for your child good, bad or just plain useless? The following questions are frequently asked by concerned parents and are probably questions that you have had on your mind, too. We hope you'll find the answers enlightening and practical for your home.

Are my children watching too much television?

A good test to determine if children watch too much television is to turn the TV off and keep it off for 24 hours. If your kids don't know what to do with their time, it is likely that they are too dependent on television. Ironically, some parents find this test harder than the kids. When adults rely on TV for entertainment, they train their kids by example to do the same.

If you fail the 24-hour test, don't feel bad. Try cutting back just a little on TV each day or week until you have cut back to almost nothing. One of the best things you can do is replace TV time with less sedentary activities (walking, biking, playing with the kids).

Are the programs my child loves so much good for him to watch?

There are lots of ways to find out if a TV program is a waste of time. You can review a program summary and viewer rating in your TV guide, surf the Web site of the show or channel for detailed information, or talk with teachers and other parents. The simplest way is for you to watch the show before your child does. This way you can make an informed decision. You may also want to consider watching more educational and learning programs during the week, age-appropriate entertainment shows on weekends, and designate time on Sunday to watch TV as a family. But even quality television in large quantities is a brain-waster. A couple of hours total viewing per week is plenty.

What should I look out for when trying to choose healthy and entertaining television programs for my young children?

Excessive violence, suggestive images, disrespect for adults or peers, vulgar language and poor role models with even worse social skills and values are indicators you can use for judging the value of a program. However, those concerns must be viewed in context. Certain programs, including biographies and documentaries, include subject matter that may not be suitable for children, yet they have educational, historical or social significance. These programs tell important stories that can help children understand the world they live in. A good rule of thumb is to avoid programs that target children but have themes, concepts and language that are adult in nature.

I am a TV junkie! What can I do to keep my children from becoming couch potatoes?

Be a role model. You must be willing to reduce the hours you spend in front of the TV. Breaking the habit is hard, but you can start by curbing your TV hours. Do this by using the newspaper or TV Guide to select just a few shows that you really want to watch. Don't spend the entire evening mindlessly channel surfing. Don't allow your children to watch programs that are inappropriate for their ages. And if you can't give up a program that is for mature viewers, tape it and watch it after your kids have gone to bed or are napping.

My child can only go to sleep with the television on.

What can I do?Your child learned this behavior. Any behavior that is learned can be unlearned. Patience is the key. You must replace your child's TV with something else: listening to music, reading a book, playing a game, etc. Schedule TV time, with the help of your child, during specific daytime hours and adhere to the schedule.

Help your child to set healthy boundaries

We have all been in a situation where someone is standing too close to us and we find ourselves wanting to take a step back. Our personal space, or boundary, has been invaded. Physical boundaries protect us and help us decide how and by whom we can be touched. Emotional boundaries protect our thoughts and emotions.

How can you help your child to set healthy boundaries?

You can guide your child through the process of deciding when to share personal thoughts and feelings. For example, private thoughts and feelings are best shared with close friends and family members. Casual friends should talk about non-personal topics such as sports, school and movies.

Before your child can develop healthy relationships, he or she needs to understand the importance of creating a personal "safe space." Appropriate boundaries protect your body, thoughts and feelings. When boundaries are too open, the result can be physically and emotionally dangerous. These are signs that your child's boundaries are too open:

• Shares personal information with acquaintances or strangers
• Wears tight or revealing clothing
• Stands too close to others
• Makes sexual comments about other people's body parts
• Has a tendency to believe everything people say

Perhaps your child has found out that a good friend told personal information about him or her to others. You can help your child understand that such a violation of trust is also a violation of boundaries. Tell your child that people who do not respect boundaries are not good choices for friends. Encourage your child to establish friendships slowly, sharing private thoughts and feelings gradually to ensure that trust is mutual and deserved.

source: parenting.org

If you have any comments or wish to share your experience on parenting, please email to youandchildren@gmail.com

Keep kids in line or be fined, parents warned

Teachers in Britain will be able to take parents of disruptive pupils to court under government plans to be unveiled tomorrow.

Schools will get stronger powers to ask for the imposition of parenting orders, which could mean families being forced to attend classes to learn how to control their offspring.

A parenting order required parents to take specific steps to control a child's behaviour - including attending parenting courses or counselling sessions, ensuring their children are at home a certain time, or avoiding certain situations and people, the Guardian reported yesterday.

If they still fail to keep their children in line, they would face a 1000 Pounds fine - and a jail term if they do not pay.

The proposal will be included in a wide-ranging schools White Paper set to be unveiled in Parliament tomorrow.

Writing in the Sunday Mirror, Schools Secretary Ed Balls said: "Every parent has a responsibility to back our teachers and make sure the rules are enforced. We all have to play our part to make sure that happens. And that doesn't just mean 95 percent of parents, but all parents, including the very few who aren't taking their responsibilities seriously."

The initiative will be used to support existing home-school agreements which set out what is expected of parents and their children in the education system.

The agreements cover issues like home-work, uniforms and getting children to school on time.

Home Secretary Alan Johnson told the News of the World: "I want to make sure that more considerations is given to the parents' role when a teenager gets into problems and is being considered for an Anti-Social Behaviour Order. Parenting orders are not punishments - they are a way of giving adults the skills they need to help them fulfil their responsibilities.

"If a teenager is in danger of going off the rails, then one of the best ways to deal with it is to give parents more support at an early stage."

Also expected in the White Paper are plans for one-to-one lessons for children lagging behind in English and maths.

The White Paper will also introduce new "report cards" for schools, detailing achievements in sport, music and pastoral care, as well as exams, to help parents of prospective pupils choose schools.

Source: The Straits Times

If you have any comments please drop an email to youandchildren@gmail.com

Teens and Technology

In today’s society, teens are inundated with gadgets. Most teenagers would probably admit their days are filled with text messaging friends, talking on their cell phones, playing electronic games, listening to MP3 players, blogging on MySpace, watching television, surfing the Internet or doing any number of other activities involving media technology. These activities aren’t necessarily bad things but can cause problems when done in excess.

Unfortunately, most of these electronic activities increase a teen’s inactive behavior, lessen their opportunity to have face-to-face relationship building time and can run up some pretty significant bills for mom and dad. Parents can help their children limit their techno cravings and reduce monthly cost by cutting back the use of too many gadgets.

• Have your child earn time to use electronic gadgets by doing extra chores and/or engaging in fun, mobile activities.
• Limit the times when gadgets can be used such as having a “no gadgets” rule after a certain curfew or not using gadgets during school or family time.
• Connect the use of electronic gadgets to your child’s ability to be responsible and respectful. For example, keeping their bedroom clean, helping siblings and being considerate could earn extra time on the home computer or X-box.

Some parents feel they cannot limit their child’s use of electronic gadgets for many reasons. Perhaps the electronic device is being used to keep track of a teen’s whereabouts, the item was a gift, the teen bought the gadget himself or parents say they feel hypocritical because they are modeling the very behavior they’re asking their kids to stop doing. Still, these technological concerns should not hinder a parent from helping their child learn and grow when it comes to media madness.

Source: Parenting.org

Please send your comments to: youandchildren.gmail.com

The Bully, The “Bullied” and The Bystander

Wherever there are children, there are bullies. In your neighborhood. In your school. Maybe in your own home.

Bullies use fear to get away with unacceptable behavior. Their victims (the “bullied”) fear continued abuse if they tell. Bystanders fear becoming the next victim. The “bullied” suffer in silence while repeatedly getting harassed. Bystanders stay silent to avoid the unwanted attention. It’s a vicious, unending cycle.

Studies on bullying show that younger and weaker youth are victimized most often. In addition, the bully-victim relationship tends to continue unless there is some sort of intervention from parents or other adults.

Bullies come in all sizes, ages and genders. The tactics they use vary widely. Some get physical. Others play on emotion. Boys often use force (punching, kicking, tripping, etc.). Girls often rely on subtle actions (gossip, manipulation, exclusion, etc.). Other characteristics include:

Bullies are impulsive
Bullies have little, if any, empathy
Bullies do not suffer from low self-esteem
Bullies need to control and dominate others
Bullies have a positive attitude toward aggression
Bullies have more physical or emotional power than their victims
Bullies have a strong desire to get or achieve something they feel they need

The Victim

Bullies like to pick on those who can’t or won’t stick up for themselves. Unfortunately, many victims lack the social skills and social networks that can keep them from being victimized. As a parent, you can help bully-proof your child by doing the following:

Teach Your Teen To Be A Friend

There is strength in numbers. Encourage your teen to develop friendships. If he or she has a special interest – sports or music – find programs that your teen can participate in. The more social interactions he or she has, the more friendships that can develop. Your teen will also become better skilled at dealing with a variety of personalities and handling different social interactions.

Build Your Teen’s Social Skills

Humor can be a powerful weapon for disarming a bully. The ability to laugh at oneself first, rather than laughing at someone else’s expense, is a skill everyone needs. Teach your teen friendship skills, including getting along with others and showing appreciation. The bottom line for your teen: He or she has to act like a friend to have a friend.

Teach Your Teen Self-Respect

Kids who can hold their heads high and walk with confidence are less likely to be singled out. Some victims actually believe they deserve to be attacked because of a self-perceived flaw in how they look, the way they talk, how they dress or any number of reasons. They start acting like victims. They become withdrawn. They slouch and avoid eye contact.

You need to remind your teen of his or her strengths. Encourage your teen to use positive self-talk during difficult moments. Help him or her see challenges as opportunities.


The Bystander

It can be very hard for a teen to take a stand and defend someone who is being bullied, especially if the victim is considered to be a “loser” or “weird.” Has your teen ever described a bullying situation, and have you ever asked what he or she did to stop it?

Some bystanders are too afraid to get involved. They don’t want to be a target. Some experience feelings of guilt because they did nothing. If a victim is a friend or classmate, some bystanders choose to disassociate themselves from the victim. Others blame the victim.

As a parent, it’s important to teach and reinforce virtues such as caring and respect. Here are things you can do to instill these values in your teen:

Model respect and kindness at home. If you and your spouse are considerate and compassionate to each other and your family, your child will likely treat others the same way.

Show respect for those in authority, including teachers and police officers.

Have positive expectations for your child’s behavior. Praise your child’s acts of kindness and discipline him or her for bad behavior.

Encourage your teen to volunteer in the community. This will give your teen a sense of obligation to others.

Bullying is a difficult problem that only gets worse when it’s ignored. Victims and bystanders can’t be expected to resolve the issue all on their own. Talk to school administrators to find out how they are dealing with the problem. If necessary, you or a representative from the school should contact the parents of bullies and make them aware of their children’s behavior.

Pretending the problem doesn’t exist won’t make it go away. Everyone must correct the behavior when it happens and be proactive in trying to prevent bullying.

If you have any comments or anything to share on parenting, please send email to youandchildren@gmail.com.

Outsourcing parenting

I recently read an article in The Hindu and I think every other parent should read this.

African saying: It takes a village to raise a child.

A chilling figure reached us late last year: 5,871 children committed suicide either upon receiving unsatisfactory academic results or even more pathetically, in anticipation of them, which means their emotional state was so fragile that they couldn& #8217;t bear the thought of either disappointing their parents or working out an alternative plan to the goal that had already been fixed for them. Anything below a certain magic percentage which is the key to a course in higher education and a 16-year-old thinks he is a failure.


In none of these cases did anyone expect these children to equate their lives with their marks. Yet, for at least 10 years that is what they had been led to believe… that they were worth only what they won in a classroom. Nothing about their all-round personalities mattered, whether they were thoughtful children, respectful to elders or compassionate to household staff/ trades people. It meant little or nothing at all how talented they might have been at music, gardening, sketching, fixing things about the house or cooking. Hardly anyone noticed or appreciated those aspects of their unfolding characters. What mattered was only whether they were scoring machines in schoolroom tests or on the playing fields. As these are the reported deaths, we can be sure there were many more. And as for those who did not take their lives, we may be equally sure that most of them live with feelings of defeat, depression and injury: an inflammatory mix.


Who is responsible? A system of intense competition that makes unnatural demands, robs a child of her free time, and is supported by a collaboration of social and familial expectations which together form a human trap.


Now, is there something we don’t know or are we carrying on regardless? For at least a 100 years since psychoanalysis proved it, we have known that an emotionally happy child will grow into a stable adult .Yet how, in the space of just two decades, has the attitude to raising children, and goal-setting for them changed to one of joyless and extreme urgency? Nearly every tender and imaginative space in a child’s life has been invaded and adult anxieties concerning performance bluntly passed on to seven and eight-year-old humans who have not yet grasped the concepts of wealth and success, but can sense their power.

Bewildered

In the current pattern of rearing the next generation is hidden the kind of pain that I equate with what I saw on Khader Nawaz Khan Road (Chennai) some time ago: a calf no more than a week old was being driven with a stick to keep up with its anxious, mooing mother who was tied to a moped doing a brisk 10 kmph. The sheer bewilderment and panic in the young creature’s eyes as it wobbled along is reflected in the eyes of our youngsters goaded to get through tests and tricks devised by an adult vision of discipline and attainments deemed right for a child of three in LKG; for a child of four in UKG; for a child of five in class I. This is so the world over. An article in Time magazine (May 2008) described the joy of parents who send their children to learning centres at the age of two. “She can recognise numbers and pictures!” And this at an age when the child is powerless to choose for herself.


What about some time to stand and stare? Not on your sweet life.


On the one hand we recognise and celebrate individuality. On the other, a crowd of four-year-olds is expected to learn to read, write and recite at exactly the same pace, triggering early and sharp competition in the schoolroom. Socialising, and learning to give and live together is considered far less important and in not counselling children that the most vital thing in life is human relationships, we are doing them the injustice of opening the door to loneliness.

Seeds of anger

Why will they — these tense, weary children — not grow up into impatient and angry young people if we do not spend enough time with them in their early years? We not only send them out of the safety of the house as soon as we can, but talk about it constantly in their presence as if our goal is to put some distance between them and us. “Come June, she will go off for three hours every day giving me some time for myself!” is something that we hear all the time.


Have we outsourced parenting to schools?


The most valuable thing we can give our children is our time and the continuous confidence of parental presence as they grow at their pace, and from their own inner visions. For, in every child the inner vision of life is brighter than the outer which is dictated by a world which imposes “learning” from the outside. All systems of modern education insist that the world must be understood in certain patterns: mathematically, historically, scientifically. Learning which could be delayed till the infant personality stabilises is applied too rapidly, suppressing the inner vision.


If we push our children away from ourselves and into the world too early in their lives and tell them to overcome everybody else, what kind of emotional equipment will they grow up with? We would do well to remember what Sylvia Ashton-Werner said about orienting children: “War and peace wait in an infant room, wait and vie.”

If you have any comments or anything to share on parenting, please send email to youandchildren@gmail.com.

Teens and Allowance vs. Teen Money Management

What about teens and allowances? Should you give your adolescent an allowance and, if so, how much?

Kids are trying out their independence. They’re looking around at their peers and trying to figure out what everyone else has. They’re constantly asking Mom or Dad for cash or “borrowing it” (how many of us have stopped for a latte, thinking we had $10—only to find an empty billfold?). Parents start to hear “I need my own money!”

Everything we do as parents teaches our kids something. So, what’s your “end game” for the allowance; or, what do you want your teen to learn?

By the teen years, we suggest that the best reason for giving a teen allowance is to teach money management. Youth at this age can learn to write a check, balance an account and budget their expenses. This is a great life skill and one that’s best learned while they’re still under your roof.

As for the exact amount, that can be determined by the budget you help your teen set, with a probation period and plan for review.

Source: Parenting.org

If you have any comments or anything to share on parenting, please email to youandchildren@gmail.com

Help Parenting Teenagers and High School Teens Ages 15 and Up

Teen years are wildly unpredictable. You still have the moodiness of the pre-teen years and the battle for independence intensifies. It's not all bad, though. You do have the simple pleasure of watching your teenager make mature decisions and grow into adulthood.


Great, you say, but what about choices regarding curfews, friends, driving, dating, smoking and drinking? Your potential battlegrounds are endless. That's why you must remember this: Don't feel too frustrated or desperate when your son or daughter defies your authority. Reducing dependence on parents is natural and necessary in this life stage. However, you can play a significant role in shaping the decisions your teen makes.


You should be authoritative without being authoritarian. You should teach by word and by example. You should be engaged in your child's education (research shows your involvement can enhance academic success and provide protection against the risks of adolescence).

Don't retreat from your teen's life. Participate in it. Now is the time to reinforce character and build discipline so your teen can survive and thrive in the face of life's many lessons:


Stealing and Cheating
The Bully, The "Bullied" and The Bystander
Bad Friendships
There Are No Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Let us discuss in detail about each one of the above in our next article.

Source: Parenting.org

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Discipline Techniques

Positive Discipline

Effective Discipline:

• is proactive;
• promotes positive behavior and self-control;
• encourages self-responsibility;
• responds to unacceptable behavior and a lack of self-control;
• protects and strengthens the child's self-esteem;
• strengthens the parent-child relationship; and
• advances development.

A Summary of Some Practical Discipline Techniques

No one technique of discipline can be relied upon for all situations. The wise parent develops a functional set of skills suited to different situations. Remember that the best discipline is prevention and there is "no one size fits all" when it comes to promoting positive behavior and self-responsibility and responding to unacceptable behaviors.

Role modeling: Children learn more about behavior by watching adults than in any other way.
Encouragement: Encouragement is a means to promote positive behavior and some argue that it is more effective than praise or reward. It implies reasonable expectations (one step at a time), and that we accept the child's mistakes, as well the successes.

Attention-ignore: Catch children being good! Children repeat behaviors that get attention; they give up behaviors that get no attention.

Charts and Rewards: If not overused, the handy chart posted on the refrigerator (or elsewhere) can help establish good behavior patterns.

Setting limits: Children need to know where the limits are and that these limits stay the same all the time. They feel secure when they know where the boundaries are. They test them frequently to find out.

Consequences: Consequences can be of two types: those that happen if you do nothing and those that you arrange. For example, if a child willfully or carelessly breaks a toy, the child no longer has that toy to play with. If the child hits another with a toy, you may take that toy away. Both are consequences of the child's actions.

Time out: Sometimes children need time to calm down and collect themselves. (Adults do to!) Used sparingly, with consistency and repetition, it must be viewed as teaching the child, not punishing.

Rules: Indeed rules are useful for providing predictability, consistency, and stability. They can be used for a variety of reasons that range from preventing problems from happening to responding to them when they do occur.

Modifying the environment: This refers to steps the parent takes to change or structure the child's environment in a way that helps the child to succeed at tasks and remain safe. Be creative in how you organize, enhance, sooth, redirect and childproof the environment to help promote the child's self-control.

"I-Message": It is more helpful to try to make children aware of how we feel, but leave responsibility for behavioral change with the child. A proper "I-message" identifies: the behavior; how it makes you feel; and a concrete impact this has on your life. For example, "When the music is on that loud I get upset because I can't hear the person I'm talking to on the phone."

Mexico buries children after fire claims 38 lives

Grieving Mexican parents have begun burying their children after a deadly fire in a government daycare center in the north of the country claimed at least 38 young lives.

Most of the fatalities from Friday's blaze at the state-run ABC daycare center in the town of Hermosillo were under the age of two. With many still hospitalized in critical condition, the toll was expected to rise.

Dozens of people carrying flowers and toys came to a small chapel Saturday to bid final farewell to a three-year-old girl named Camila who died in the fire from asphyxiation.

Meanwhile, her four-year-old sister was fighting for her life in a hospital in Guadalajara.

Elsewhere, distraught parents sat outside hospitals awaiting word on the fate of their children, questions were raised about how the fire began and whether deaths could have been prevented.
President Felipe Calderon cut short a trip to the resort town of Cancun and flew to Hermosillo, the capital of Sonora state, to respond to the tragedy, a presidential source told AFP.
"I have ordered the federal prosecutor to as soon as possible carry out investigations to help us know exactly what and how it happened, and to work out corresponding responsibility," Calderon said.
Sonora state health secretary Raymundo Lopez said that 38 children had died and another 23 remained hospitalized, including 15 in extremely serious condition.

Sonora Governor Eduardo Bours said six adults had also been hospitalized after the blaze, which broke out when many at the daycare center, located in an Hermosillo working class neighborhood, were taking an afternoon nap.

Some of the injured had been transferred to the western state of Jalisco to be treated by doctors specialized in children's burns, said Daniel Karam of the Mexican Social Security Institute.

One was even flown to a burns unit at a hospital in Sacramento in the US state of California.
Jose Larrinaga, a spokesman for the local prosecutor's office, told reporters that it was too early to announce a final toll.

Most of the children died from smoke inhalation, officials said. Others died when the roof in the crib room collapsed.

Questions were already being raised about whether the deaths could have been prevented.
The center lacked emergency exits and the structure was so weak that part of the roof caved in, on an area where many newborn babies were sleeping, reports said.

Local media suggested the fire had started in a neighboring tire shop, a claim the shop owners quickly denied, according to news reports.

The local prosecutor's office cautioned against premature conclusions as to what caused the fire.
In desperate scenes Friday, people living nearby smashed through the cement walls of the center using cars and vans to try to save the children.

Emergency services arrived a good while after locals began bringing victims out, witnesses told AFP.

A 40-year-old man who lives in front of the center and was the first to arrive told La Reforma daily how he handed burnt and lifeless bodies that he pulled from the building to his neighbors.
"It was a terrifying experience," said the man, identified as Roberto Bustamante, as he choked on tears. "There was a lot of smoke, but there were no children's cries. They were all unconscious or dead."

Source: http://www.google.com/

Accepting Criticism: A Life Skill

Most Tweens think they know everything, and it is often very difficult for them to accept criticism. Although you may find this frustrating, it is developmentally appropriate for a child at this stage of development. One way you can help your child be successful at dealing with teachers and other authority figures is by teaching him or her how to accept criticism. Here is a guide for talking to your child about this subject.


When others give advice on how they think you can improve, they are giving criticism.


When you accept criticism, you need to:

1. Look at the person. Don't give negative facial expressions.


2. Stay calm and quiet while the person is talking.


3. Show you understand ("okay" or "I understand").


4. Try to correct the problem. If you are asked to do something, do it. If you are asked to stop doing something, stop it. If you can't give a positive response, at least give one that will not get you into trouble ("Okay," "I understand," or "Thanks").

Being able to accept criticism shows maturity and prevents problems with people in authority. If you can control yourself and listen to what others have to say about how you can improve, you will have fewer problems. And the criticism may really help you!

Here are some helpful hints to keep in mind when learning this skill.

• It is most important that you stay calm. Take a deep breath, if necessary.


• Criticizing, becoming angry, or making negative facial expressions will only get you into more trouble.


• When you respond to the person who is giving you criticism, use as pleasant a voice tone as possible. You will receive criticism for the rest of your life; all people do. The way you handle it determines how others treat you.


• Most criticism is designed to help you; however, sometimes it is difficult to accept. If you don't agree with the criticism, ask me or another trusted adult.


• Always ask questions if you don't understand. (But don't play games by asking questions when you do understand and are just being stubborn.) Give yourself a chance to improve!

If you have any comments or if you can share your parenting experience please send email to youandchildren@gmail.com

Parenting Quotes

Govern a family as you would a small fish – very gently. ~ Chinese proverb


Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. ~ James Baldwin


Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you. ~ H. Jackson Brown


Sometimes we’re so concerned about giving our children what we never had growing up, we neglect to give them what we did have growing up. ~ Dr. James Dobson


If help and salvation are to come, they can only come from the children, for the children are the makers of men. ~ M. Montessori


The school will teach children how to read, but the environment of the home must teach them what to read. The school can teach them how to think, but the home must teach them what to believe. ~ Charles A. Wells


Children spell ‘love’…T-I-M-E. ~ Dr. A. Witham


A child’s mind is not a container to be filled, but rather a fire to be kindled. ~ D. Brande


It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. ~ Frederick Douglas


Virtually every issue that we deal with, be it education… be it human services, gang problems or drugs, we find STRONG FAMILIES the ultimate solution. ~ Van Goethe


Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve. ~ Roger Lewin


Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the tree is lost when raking leaves. ~ Marcelene Cox


The same boiling water that hardens the egg will soften the carrot. So it is with children. Everything depends on the individual’s particular reaction to stressful circumstances. ~ Hide or Seek


Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~ Mahatma Ghandi


When you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. ~ George Washington Carver


Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. ~ Will Rogers


Opinions cannot survive if one has no chance to fight for them. ~ Thomas Mann


There are two kinds of people: those who GIVE energy and those who DRAIN energy. ~ Freeman A Hrabrowski III


The solution to adult problems tomorrow depends in large measure upon how our children grow up today. ~ Margaret Mead


When your children reach adolescence, they fire you as parent. You’ve got to scramble to get rehired as a consultant. ~ Mike Riera


If you want to move people, it has to be toward a vision that’s positive for them, that taps important values, that gets them something they desire and it has to be presented in a compelling way so that they feel inspired to follow. ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.


The child pulls parents and teachers together, but without the help of one another, parents and teachers pull the child apart. ~ Debora Tinnin


Parents are children’s first and most influential teachers. By reading to children or having them read to us, by making sure homework is done, by monitoring television use, by knowing how children spend their time, parents can have a powerfully positive effect on their children’s learning. ~ U.S. Secretary of Education


The difficult thing about children is that they come with NO INSTRUCTIONS. You pretty well have to assemble them on your own. ~ Turn Your Heart Toward Home (film)


Involved parents develop more positive attitudes toward school and school personnel, help gather support, and bring additional resources to benefit the schools. Teachers who participated in a parent involvement program improved their teaching and reported much greater job satisfaction. In addition, these schools reported that parent involvement programs prove to be a cost-effective way to increase student achievement. ~ 1987 Metropolitan Life Survey of the American Teacher


Any effort to give parents more opportunities to help their children learn will require a shift in public attitudes regarding the importance of learning, a willingness of educators to fundamentally rethink the role of parents and school – family relationships, and the cooperation of the entire community. ~ U.S. Secretary of Education


Successful family involvement is not a sporadic activity. It is a sustained commitment to instill the habits of learning and to set high expectations. It is making connections to teachers and schools not only when trouble arises, but as a part of the everyday process of children’s schooling. ~ U.S. Secretary of Education


Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope for in the future . . . .
~ Charles Kettering


Programs designed with strong parent involvement produce students who perform better than otherwise identical programs that do not involve parents as thoroughly, or that do not involve them at all. ~ Anne T. Henderson


One of the most important things we see happening is that not only do parents become more effective as parents, but they become more effective as people. It’s a matter of higher self-esteem. ~ Bronfenbrenner, National PTA


If you think one year ahead . . . plant a seed. If you think ten years ahead . . . plant a tree. If you think one hundred years ahead . . . Educate the People. ~ Chinese Proverb


If we are to prevent the fabric of our society from coming apart, we must teach our children to excel not only academically, but also in their appreciation of their obligation to others. ~ Clarence Page, columnist


Laughter is like changing a baby’s diaper. It doesn’t permanently solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for a while. ~ Unknown


Concentrate on: What you can do, not what you cannot do. ~ Unknown


Concentrate on: What you have, not what you don’t have. ~ Unknown


When a parent loses the early confrontations with a child, the later conflicts become harder to win. ~ Unknown


Learning makes a man fit company for himself. ~ Anonymous


There should be a healthy balance between work and play in every child’s life. Dare to Discipline. ~ Unknown


I don’t become what I think I can. I don’t become what you think I can. I become what I think you think I can! ~ Unknown


Stay on your child’s team, even when it appears to be a losing team. You’ll have the rest of your life to enjoy mutual fellowship if you don’t over react in frustration now – Parenting isn’t for cowards. ~ Unknown


Model for children how a well-put-together adult handles him/herself. ~ Unknown
You can solve a problem any way you want to as long as it doesn’t make a problem for anyone else! ~ Unknown


A bruised knee will mend; bruised courage may last a lifetime. ~ Unknown


NORMS – Stay on schedule: be on time. Participate actively – if you think it, say it; ask questions; take care of your neighbor; one person talks at a time. Take care of yourself. What is said here, stays here; what is learned here, leaves here! It’s OK to have FUN!! ~ Unknown

Compiles by esc16.net

If you have any comments or if you can share your parenting experience please send email to youandchildren@gmail.com

Is My Child Too Busy?

It’s pretty common to hear parents talk about racing their child from one club sport, to the next—or to an academic debate, school club or other roster of activities. For some children, adding extra-curricular activities may be due to the pressure of building a resume to get into a good college, while others feel peer pressure to hang out with a group of friends. Some parents might feel their child is “missing out” if he isn’t constantly occupied. There are various reasons, but it all adds up to overload.

How Can Parents Tell if Their Child is Too Busy?

• Boys Town Pediatrics helps parents look for signs of being over-loaded, such as:


• Feeling tired, exhausted or depressed


• Not enjoying the activity they once loved


• Lower grades in school


• Complaining of headaches or body aches, which may be due to stress or lack of sleep


• Having stomach pain, which may be due to missed meals or stress

An active schedule can wear on a child’s social and family life. When a child is too busy to play with friends, his friendships my suffer—as does the family structure if one parent is busy running one child to baseball practice while the other parent is at a dance recital. Not to mention, it can be extremely tiresome for everyone involved.

If you feel your child is too busy, Boys Town Pediatrics offers tips to help you get back on track:

• Schedule activities in moderation. Start slow and add an additional activity when you feel your child is ready to multi-task.


• Make sure the activity is developmentally appropriate for the age of your child.


• Keep a family calendar to stay organized. Place the calendar in a place where everyone can see it and can add their activities.


• Mark off a day on the calendar as a family day. Do not schedule any individual activities on that day and do something together as a family.


• Parents may need to say “No”. If adding one more activity is going to overload your child, you can talk to her about dropping an activity to add the new one.

Take a moment and carefully examine your child’s schedule. If you feel there are too many activities scheduled, talk with your child and together decide where you can cut back. Keeping a structured active schedule can play a role in the health and well-being of your child.

If you have any comments or if you can share your parenting experience please send email to youandchildren@gmail.com

Is your Teenage Son Obese? Then slim chance of Marriage.

Men who are grossly overweight at age 18 have nearly 50 per cent less chance of marrying by their 30s and 40s, according to new research.



The findings, discussed on Thursday at a conference on obesity in Amsterdam, held true regardless of the men's intellectual prowess or socio-economic position. this could suggest that women rank looks higher than other traits when choosing a partner.



"Yes, that may be one explanation," researcher Malin Kark of the Karolinska Institute told Agence France-Presse on the sidelines of the event hosted by the European Association for the Study of Obesity.



Her study covered more than 500,000 Swedish men born between 1951 and 1961. It found men who had been obese at 18 were 46 per cent less likely to be married in 1991 - when they were aged 30 to 40 - than men with no weight problem, and 45 per cent less likely in 2004.



For men who had been overweight but not obese at 18, the chances of marriage were slightly higher - 10 per cent lower than for men of normal weight in their 30s and 9 per cent lower than for those in their 40s.



"We think this shows there is stigmatisation of obese young men that continues into adulthood, at work and in interpersonal relationships," said Ms. Kark.



While no information was available on the men's adult weight, other studies have found that obese adolescents were likely to become obese adults, she added.



For the purpose of study, the obese were defined as those with a body mass index (BMI) of more than 30. To calculate a person's BMI, take his weight in kilograms and divide it by the square of his height in metres.



The World Health Organization estimated that in 2005, about 1.6 million adults were overweight, of which at lease 400 millions were obese.



Source: Agence France-Presse.

If you have any comments or if you can share your parenting experience please send email to youandchildren@gmail.com

Lunch Ideas for Kids

During the busy school year, the most important task many parents tend to forget is planning nutritious, yet delicious lunches for their child to take to school, according to Boys Town Pediatrics.

One of the biggest problems with lunches packed at home is the high fat, sugar and sodium content found in most lunch items from the grocery store. Not to mention the lack of fruit, vegetables and whole grains in most lunchboxes.

Try not to fall into the convenient trap of always including pre-processed packaged foods in your child’s lunch such as chips, cookies, cupcakes, and other snack foods. Instead, think ahead and put together individual baggies filled with nutritious and tasty foods at the beginning of each week that you can grab from the fridge or cupboard and place into your child’s lunchbox. A few good ideas include baggies filled with:

• Grapes, strawberries, oranges, melon, etc. Freeze fruits in the summer for variety during the winter months.
• Carrots, celery, broccoli, etc.
• A blend of dried fruits, such as raisins, apple rings, banana chips. Add a few of your child’s favorite low-sodium nuts.
• Low sodium pretzels, baked chips, low-fat cheese crackers, nuts, sunflower seeds, etc.
  Even the sandwich you pack for your child can be high in fat and sodium if you are not careful.

Be sure to make a healthy sandwich by using:

• Whole grain bread instead of white bread – for variety, use a whole grain bagel or pita pocket.
• Low-fat lunch meats from the deli counter such as turkey breast, chicken breast, ham, bologna or roast beef, are much lower in fat than the pre-packaged kind.
• Look for meats that are at least 95% fat-free.
• Low-fat or fat free cheese – regular cheese is the second leading source of saturated fat in kids’ diets. You could skip the cheese altogether and pack low-fat yogurt, cottage cheese or calcium-fortified orange juice to obtain a significant source of calcium.
• Mayonnaise in moderation – better yet, use reduced fat mayo, salad dressing or margarine. Mustard is an even wiser choice with no fat or calories.
• Veggies – add nutritional value to your child’s sandwich by stacking on a slice of cucumber, romaine lettuce, pepper, tomato, or shredded carrots.
• Keep your child’s lunch interesting by packing a variety of foods. Don’t pack sweets every day. Instead, pick a particular day each week (Friday’s are always good) to pack a surprise treat like chips, cookies or a cupcake. Or, give your child some change one day each week to buy a treat from the school cafeteria.

If you have any comments or if you can share your parenting experience please send email to youandchildren@gmail.com

Five Leadership messages for a Daughter

Being a leader means being self-confident, open to new ideas and willing to take action. A study of 25 top women leaders found that, as children, they had all been given five messages.


1. You are loved and special. Children don’t automatically know they are loved. Hug your children. Let them know you love them even when they make mistakes or misbehave.


2. You can do anything you put your mind to doing. Let your daughter believe in her power to achieve. Don’t do things for her that she can do for herself. As a toddler, let her dress herself. Later, let her manage her allowance.


3. You can take risks. Mistakes are an unpleasant but inevitable part of learning. Let your daughter take risks and applaud her efforts. If she wants to try out for sports, the school play, or student government, encourage her. If she doesn’t make the team or loses the election, help her see what she learned from the experience and encourage her to try again.


4. You can use and enjoy assertiveness. Listen to your daughter’s goals and dreams. She may wish she could play a particular piano piece or she may envy her friend’s ability to ride a bicycle. Help her make a realistic plan to achieve her goal. Reward her through open displays of pride, such as attending a piano concert or taking a bike ride with her.


5. You are entitled to dreams of greatness. Don’t limit your daughter’s dreams. If she wants to be an astronaut, don’t tell her she’ll get airsick. If she wants to be an attorney, don’t tell her men won’t be attracted to an assertive woman. If she wants to be a teacher, don’t tell her she can do better that. Help her believe she excel at whatever she does.


Source: http://www.thelearningcommunity.us/


If you have any comments or if you can share your parenting experience please send email to youandchildren@gmail.com

3-Steps to praise your child

Praising is an important factor to motivate your children. You need to start this early to have more positive and healthy emotions in your child. Praising needs to be consistent in order to expect faster and dramatic improvements in your child's behaviour over time.

But every parent generally have this question: How much to praise? Any praise is a good praise?

The award winning book Common Sense Parenting describes a concept called Effective Praise.
Effective Praise is more powerful than general praise, which is usually a simple comment such as “Fantastic” or “Great.”


Effective Praise involves three steps:

Step 1: Showing your approval
Step 2: Describing the positive
Step 3: Giving a reason

Step 1 involves using words and actions to express your satisfaction. For example, saying “Amazing!” while giving your child a thumbs-up or a hug adds excitement to the moment. You are showing how pleased you are with what your child is doing. In turn, your child becomes more satisfied with himself or herself.


Step 2 involves making sure your child understands exactly what he or she did to deserve your praise. Praise what you saw or heard. This will motivate your child to repeat the behavior. For example, you could say, “Sarah, thanks for cleaning the dishes and helping me put the leftovers away.” Comments that are brief and to the point help with understanding.


Step 3 involves linking the relationship between the child’s behavior and the consequences or outcomes. Here are a couple of examples:

“If you do your homework right after school, you’ll have more time to play outside.”

“When you’re home on time, I will trust you more and probably will let you go out more often.”

When you do all three steps of Effective Praise, it should sound something like this:

Showing your approval“Thanks for calling me.”
Describing the positive“I’m really glad that you told me where you’re at and why you’ll be a little late.”
Giving a reason “Calling me shows a lot of sensitivity and shows that I can trust you.”


You may want to add a fourth step for exceptional behavior – a reward. Rewards can be large or small, that’s up to you. Rewards don’t have to cost money. Just giving your child a special privilege can be reward enough.

Please share your parenting experience by sending email to youandchildren@gmail.com

Can you catch the flu from handling money?

Yes.

“Human influenza viruses can survive and maintain their infectiousness for several days when they are deposited on banknotes,” according to a 2008 study by Yves Thomas and his colleagues at the Central Laboratory for Virology in Geneva, Switzerland.

Scientists spotted different types of flu virus onto Swiss francs and found that they survived from a few hours (naked virus) to more than a week (virus mixed with respiratory mucus).The results depended on the type and concentration of flu virus.

According to the study, Swiss banknotes are mostly cotton covered by a nonporous resin. Bills from other countries may be composed of different materials, and this could affect viral transmission.

“Whether similar results would be obtained with banknotes from other countries and with different characteristics needs to be studied,” the authors wrote.In an interview with Reuters, Thomas said, “Our studies have convinced us that it is possible to catch flu from banknotes, but the chances are very, very slim and there is no cause for concern among the general population.”

SmartMoney had this to say in a recent story:To be sure, many kinds of frequently touched surfaces could temporarily harbor the flu virus. Broadly speaking, scientists consider the risk of transmission in this way to be low, particularly if hand-washing and other hygiene measures are practiced, says Dr. Philip Tierno, director of clinical microbiology and immunology at New York University’s Langone Medical Center and author of “The Secret Life of Germs.”

Three things must happen for a flu virus to be transmitted from one person to another via money.

• First, a person who is infected with the swine flu must sneeze or cough onto the bill or blow their nose and leave remnants of their mucus on the currency.

• Next, an uninfected person would need to touch the money while the virus is still present.

• Finally, that person would need to put their contaminated hand in their mouth or pick their nose, says Dr. Murray Grossan, an otolaryngologist at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.

The best defense against infection: follow public health guidelines and wash your hands frequently.Source: “Survival of Influenza Virus on Banknotes” by Yves Thomas, Guido Vogel, Werner Wunderli, Patricia Suter, Mark Witschi, Daniel Koch, Caroline Tapparel and Laurent Kaiser, published in Applied and Environmental Microbiology, May 2008.

Source: http://blogs.america.gov/science/2009/05/02/can-you-catch-the-flu-from-handling-money/

How to Teach Kids about Swine Flu

Nightly news updates, school closures and family discussions about the rapid spread of the Swine Flu (also known as the H1N1 flu infection) may lead to anxiety and undue stress in young children as they worry about the epidemic. Calm their fears about the Swine Flu, while still educating them about prevention and symptoms in the event H1N1 reaches your community.

Use these tips to teach kids about Swine Flu to educate with unnecessarily alarming them.

Step 1 Teach kids about Swine Flu (H1N1) by letting them know that the outbreak is referred to as a health emergency so enough medicine (like Tamiflu or Relenza) will be allocated to areas that will possibly need it. Compare the Swine Flu to a regular seasonal flu, but acknowledge that it’s more serious because it’s hitting its stride after the traditional flu season and is a blend of three types of influenza (viruses that typically affect pigs, birds and people).

Step 2 Stress that the Swine Flu is easily passed from person to person. Equip them with “tools” to help prevent getting sick. Teach kids about swine flu preventive measures like washing hands often, particularly before eating meals or a snack. (You can also give them and their classroom an antibacterial hand sanitizer for use throughout the day.) Instruct them to stop rubbing their eyes, touching their noses, putting fingers in their mouth and avoid sharing drinks with other kids to keep germs at bay.

Step 3 Educate your kids about H1N1 symptoms (such as fever, an achy body, a sore throat, runny nose and occasionally throwing up or stomach upset) to empower them since they’ll know what to look for. If your children are known to “adopt” symptoms after they hear about them, however, you may just want to assure them that you’ll check them for symptoms each night before bed as reassurance.

Step 4 Let your children know that they should come to you with questions if their friends are discussing the Swine Flu or if something they see on television or read about on the Internet upsets them. Look up information together on the computer, for example, if you don’t have the answers. Discussing it calmly (be sure to temper your own reactions to the “pig flu”) and supplying them with accurate information can make them feel confident and prepared.

Source: http://www.ehow.com/

Swine Flu (H1N1): 5 Ways to Keep Your Kids Safe

Swine flu has parents seriously worried. With the suspected death toll mounting in Mexico and at least 64 confirmed cases in the United States, there's good reason to worry. One New York City school is closed because dozens of students have fallen ill.

Parental fears get amplified when the public-health experts say, correctly, that they don't know what's going to happen next. "We don't know how worried we need to be," says Joseph Bocchini, chairman of the department of pediatrics at the Louisiana State University Health Sciences Center. "We know that this is a virus that has caused severe disease in Mexico. But so far the cases that we know of in the United States have been mild. The potential for this to become a pandemic is real, but we don't know how likely that is."

Is it time to start hoarding Tamiflu and face masks? Not yet, Bocchini told me today. "We don't need to change what we routinely do for our children right now," he says. Instead, he says, parents can put their worry to good use by getting prepared, in case this outbreak turns out to be really ugly.

Here are five ways to do something about protecting your family from swine flu without going bonkers, gleaned from pediatricians like Bocchini and other experts:

1. If a family member has a flulike illness, call the doctor right away. The new swine flu can be treated with antiviral medicines, but those medicines work only if taken within a day or two after symptoms start.

2. To reduce the risk of infection, follow the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's 5 simple habits: (a) Keep your distance from people who are sick; (b) make sure family members wash their hands often; (c) stay home when sick; (d) cover your mouth and nose when coughing; and (e) avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth.

3. Cancel that trip to Cancún. The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends postponing nonessential travel to Mexico until the outbreak there is resolved.

4. Start thinking about what your family would do if your school or day-care center were closed because of swine flu cases in your community. Many companies have emergency plans that encourage telecommuting, for instance. The pandemicflu.gov site has advice for families and employers, including checklists for schools and employers.

5. Keep current with the swine flu news. The CDC's swine flu website closely tracks cases, as does the World Health Organization's swine flu site.

Source: http://health.usnews.com/blogs/on-parenting/2009/04/28/swine-flu-5-ways-to-keep-your-kids-safe.html

H1N1 Flu (Swine Flu): Information for Concerned Parents and Caregivers

What is H1N1 Flu?

H1N1 is a type of influenza (flu) virus that causes respiratory disease that can spread between people. Most people infected with this virus in the United States have had mild disease, but some have had more severe illness, and there has been at least one death. Young children, pregnant women, and people with chronic diseases like asthma, diabetes, or heart disease may be at higher risk for complications from this infection. More information about who may be at higher risk will be available when more is known about the disease. There are steps you can take to protect your family and to know when to seek medical care.


What are the symptoms?

In most children, the symptoms of H1N1 flu are similar to the symptoms of regular flu. They include:
Fever
Cough
Sore throat
Body aches
Headache
Chills and fatigue
Occasionally, vomiting and diarrhea

Young children may not have typical symptoms, but may have difficulty breathing and low activity. Little is known about how H1N1 may affect children. However, we think the infection may be similar to other flu infections. Typically, flu infections cause mild disease in children, but children under 5 years old are more likely to have serious illness than older children. Although rare, severe respiratory illness (pneumonia) and deaths have been reported with flu infections in children. Flu infections tend to be more severe in children with chronic medical conditions.


How to keep from getting it:

Flu viruses spread from person to person mainly through the coughing or sneezing of a sick person. Flu virus may also be spread when a person touches something that is contaminated with the virus and then touches his or her eyes, nose, or mouth. We think H1N1 flu spreads the same way as other flu viruses. Right now, there is no vaccine to protect against H1N1 flu, but there are everyday actions that can help prevent the spread of germs that cause respiratory illnesses like H1N1 flu:

• Teach your children to wash their hands frequently with soap and water for 20 seconds. Be sure to set a good example by doing this yourself.
• Teach your children to cough and sneeze into a tissue or into the inside of their elbow. Be sure to set a good example by doing this yourself.
• Teach your children to stay at least six feet away from people who are sick.
• Children who are sick should stay home from school and daycare and stay away from other people until they are better.
• In communities where H1N1 flu has occurred, stay away from shopping malls, movie theaters, or other places where there are large groups of people.

What to do if your child is sick:

• Unless they need medical attention, keep children who are sick at home. Don’t send them to school or daycare.
• Have them drink a lot of liquid (juice, water, Pedialyte ®).
• Keep the sick child comfortable. Rest is important.
• For fever, sore throat, and muscle aches, you can use fever-reducing medicines that your doctor recommends based on your child’s age. Do not use aspirin with children or teenagers; it can cause Reye’s syndrome, a life-threatening illness.
• If someone in your home is sick, keep him or her away from those who are not sick.
  Keep tissues close to the sick person and have a trash bag within reach for disposing used tissues.

If your child comes in contact with someone with H1N1 flu, ask your doctor if he or she should receive antiviral medicines to prevent getting sick from H1N1 Flu.

If your child experiences any of the following warning signs, seek emergency medical care:

• Fast breathing or trouble breathing
• Bluish or gray skin color
• Not drinking enough fluids
• Not waking up or not interacting
• Being so irritable that he or she does not want to be held
• Not urinating or no tears when crying
• Their symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough

Source: http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/parents.htm

For more information call 1-800-CDC INFO, or go to http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1

How to Protect Your children from Swine Flu?

As swine flu spreads across the country and around the globe, its youngest victims may also be among the ones who are in the most danger of losing their lives, infectious disease experts say.

Their comments follow the first reported death in the United States from the swine flu -- a 22-month-old Mexican boy who had arrived at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston for treatment, but who died on Monday -- as well as the World Health Organization's decision to raise their pandemic alert level to phase 5 from phase 4.

"Classically, in seasonal influenza it is the very young and very old that die from influenza," said Dr. George Rutherford, director of the UCSF Institute for Global Health. "The CDC has not done full analysis on pediatric deaths this season, but last season 50 percent of childhood flu deaths occurred in those under 5 years old. The majority of these were in kids under age 2."

Young children, especially those less than one year of age are particularly susceptible to influenza," agreed Dr. Rich Whitley, professor of medicine at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. "The younger the child, the more likely the severity will be greater, and risk for death increases."

Additionally, past research has shown that, in general, infants' immature immune systems make them more vulnerable to infection and death from viral infections like influenza.
But whether these past findings will be borne out with this new virus have yet to be seen, warns Ed Hsu, associate professor at the University of Texas School of Health Information Sciences and School of Public Health.

"We may need another week until the H1N1 outbreak runs the full course of its incubation and infectivity period," he said. "By this weekend we should have enough data to make some meaningful inferences from worldwide distribution of the disease, including susceptibility or vulnerability by age over time."

Will Swine Flu Show Death Spike in Young Adults?But while many infectious disease experts expect very young children to be more vulnerable to the new virus, it is a spike in deaths among young adults that could be a sign of a much more troubling outbreak.

H1N1 Pandemic of 1918: Will History Repeat Itself?

Such a pattern was seen during the infamous 1918 influenza pandemic, which caused at least 675,000 U.S. deaths and up to 50 million deaths worldwide. Researchers say many of these deaths were among the young, whose healthy immune systems mounted a response to the virus that was so destructive it killed them.

"The 1918-1919 flu had a W-shaped mortality pattern, with elevated mortality rates in the young, old and 20- to 39-year-olds," Rutherford said. "It's this middle bulge in mortality that has everyone worried."

Thus far, patients in the United States with swine flu have ranged from infancy to 81 years old. But 64 percent of these cases have been in those under the age of 18. While the number of cases is still too low to draw any solid conclusions, some say this preponderance of younger patients is a potentially troubling sign.

"As was the case in 1918, young and otherwise healthy individuals seem to be disproportionately affected," said Dr. Oren Cohen, chief medical and scientific officer at Quintiles Transnational Corp. and consulting professor of medicine at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, N.C. "It is too early to know about death rates."

Protecting Your Child From Swine Flu

Jacqueline Civitano is just one parent who is dealing firsthand with the specter of swine flu. Her 17-year-old son, Frankie is a student at St. Francis Preparatory School in Queens, the site of the first reported cases in New York City. He tested positive for the illness on Sunday.

Since then, she said, three of her other children and her daughter-in-law have also come down with the disease.

She said everyone in her family is recovering. But she said she was particularly concerned about her infected 10-year-old son, who also has diabetes.

"Yesterday we thought we were going to have to take him to the hospital because he couldn't eat or drink," she said Tuesday. "It's a little scary when you don't know what's going on and you hear all this stuff about people dying in Mexico. It's extremely frightening."

Fortunately, infectious disease experts noted, there are steps that families can take to protect children from the worst consequences of the disease.

Simple Steps Help Protect Kids From H1N1

Rutherford said Tamiflu, one of the two antiviral medicines said to be effective against swine flu, is approved for use in babies as young as 1 year old, and because of an emergency order from the government, the FDA has already said that doctors may use Tamiflu to treat babies even under 1 year of age.

Relenza, the other antiviral that has shown promise against swine flu, is approved for use in kids age 7 and up; that prescribing information has not been altered.

But perhaps the best defense for babies is to keep them away from possible infection through social distancing -- in short, making certain they do not come into contact with infected individuals.

Parents of younger children can also make sure that their kids follow established hygiene practices in order to lower their risk of infection. These include frequent and proper hand washing, as well as staying clear from friends and family members who are known to be infected.

The ABC News Medical Unit contributed to this report.

Source: abcnews.go.com

Stop Teeth Grinding and Clenching

Bruxism is the term that refers to an incessant grinding and clenching of the teeth, unintentionally, and at inappropriate times. Bruxers (persons with bruxism) are often unaware that they have developed this habit, and often do not know that treatment is available until damage to the mouth and teeth has been done. Damage caused by bruxism often includes the following symptoms. However, each individual may experience symptoms differently.

Symptoms may include:
abraded teeth
facial pain
oversensitive teeth
tense facial and jaw muscles
headaches
dislocation of the jaw
damage to the tooth enamel, exposing the inside of the tooth (dentin)
a popping or clicking in the temporomandibular joint (TMJ)
tongue indentations
damage to the inside of the cheek


The symptoms of bruxism may resemble other conditions or medical problems. Consult a dentist or your physician for a diagnosis.

What causes bruxism?

Although this habit is unintentional, oral health specialists often point to excessive stress and certain personality types as typical causes of bruxism. Bruxism often affects persons with nervous tension such as anger, pain, or frustration, and/or persons with aggressive, hurried, or overly competitive tendencies.

How is bruxism diagnosed?

During regular visits to the dentist, the teeth are examined for evidence of bruxism - often indicated by the tips of the teeth appearing flat. If symptoms are present, the condition will be observed for changes over the next several visits before a treatment program is established.


Treatment for bruxism:
Specific treatment for bruxism will be determined by your dentist or physician based on:
your age, overall health, and medical history
extent of the disease

your tolerance for specific medications, procedures, or therapies
expectations for the course of the disease
your opinion or preference

In most cases, bruxism can be successfully treated. Treatment may involve:
behavior modificationTeaching the patient how to rest his/her tongue, teeth, and lips properly, and learning how to rest the tongue upward may relieve discomfort on the jaw while keeping the teeth apart and lips closed.

mouthpieceA specially-fitted plastic mouth appliance may be worn at night to absorb the force of biting. This appliance may help to prevent future damage to the teeth and aid in changing the patient's behavior.

biofeedbackBiofeedback involves an electronic instrument that measures the amount of muscle activity of the mouth and jaw - indicating to the patient when too much muscle activity is taking place so that the behavior can be changed. This is especially helpful for daytime bruxers. Further research is needed to develop a treatment program for bruxers who clench during the night.
(Source: /www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/)

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