How to raise passionate children

This is an interesting article writted by Gregory Ramey, PhD, child psychologist at Dayton Children's and Dayton Daily News columnist

Eleven-year-old Suzie was passionate about Ohio State football. She watched all of the games, knew the names of the key players and would chatter incessantly about Coach Tressel’s strategy and game plan.

The weekend before the national championship between the powerful Buckeyes and underdog Florida Gators, Suzie spoke to her dad about the Monday night game. “I know it will go on past my bedtime, but I’ve been waiting for this game all season. It will be so cool to see our players beat the Gators!”

Her parents offered to tape the second half of the game, but Suzie wouldn’t have any of that. “This is the game of century! We’re going to make history by being the first college football team to keep our number one ranking all year!”

This was a tough decision for her parents. Suzie was an excellent student, but needed lots of sleep. If she stayed up late to watch a football game, it would certainly affect her school performance the next day.

The parents spoke to several of their friends and the advice was almost unanimous. This was only a football game. What kind of message do you send if you allow your child to place a higher priority on sports over school?

My advice was the opposite.

I’d let Suzie stay up late to watch the game, even if it did have some effect on her schoolwork the next day. This wasn’t about watching a football game. This was about encouraging Suzie’s passions.

Most adults and children live fairly routine lives. We lapse into routines and habits. Today feels pretty much like yesterday. Tomorrow will be like today.

When I speak with children with my office, I try to discover if anything excites them. What gets them enthusiastic about life? Most youngsters really can’t answer that question. But some children get animated as they talk about their interest in dolls or dinosaurs, video games or electric guitars. Helping your children discover and develop their interests and passions about something is an important job for parents.

How can you raise passionate children?

Expose your children at an early age to lots of different types of activities. Enroll your kids in a variety of activities, including sports, arts, and music. Children don’t know if they really like an activity unless they try it. Some youngsters complain that some activity is not fun and they don’t want to do it. Establish some clear ground rules beforehand. For example, if your child shows an interest in music, you may start her on piano lessons with an understanding that she cannot stop such lessons for at least six months.

Require involvement in something other than school. Many parents require their school age child to be involved in some after school activity. This is a great opportunity for children to develop skills and perhaps a passion about something that will carry beyond their school years.

What matters to you? Let your children into your world. Let them know and experience the things that are fun and exciting to you. Suzie wasn’t born with a fanaticism about Ohio State football. It developed in part because of the passion of her parents.

Enter your child’s world. Try to understand your child’s world, and appreciate their passion for neopets or new wave music. Listen, encourage, participate and share the passion in your child’s world.

Shut off that darn TV! Endless hours of television viewing help foster obese, unimaginative, and passive children.

Suzie sobbed in her mom’s lap after the Buckeyes lost a few weeks ago. Even so, wasn’t it nice that she felt passionate about something?

Gregory Ramey, PhD, is a child psychologist at The Children’s Medical Center of Dayton and a columnist for the Dayton Daily News.